How many Starfleet Counselors does it take to change a light bulb?
26- 5 to counsel the old bulb to help it deal with why it failed, 5 to counsel the socket for its separation from the old bulb, 5 to prepare the socket for the new bulb, 5 to prepare the new bulb for its new job, 1 to screw the new bulb into the socket, and 5 to make sure that the new bulb and the socket get along.

How many Starfleet Captains does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one- to give the order to an ensign to change the bulb.

How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
Over 300- 5 to brew a keg of bloodwine, 5 to drink the wine in the bulb's honour, 150 to fight a glorious battle to send the old bulb to Sto-Vo-Kor, 100 to perform the death howl, 1 to write an opera for the old bulb, 27 to perform the opera, 5 to sacrifice a targ to celebrate the new bulb, 10 to ceremoniously wipe blood all over the new bulb, 10 to ceremoniously lift the new bulb up, 10 to take turns screwing in the bulb, and at least another 100 to shout praise for the new bulb.

How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
11- 1 to hold the bulb, and 10 to drink until the room starts spinning.

How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
None. A true Klingon warrior isn't afraid of the dark.

How many Romulans does it take to change a light bulb?
3- 1 to unscrew the old light bulb and screw in the new one, 1 to interrogate the old light bulb as to why it failed, and 1 to shoot the other two and take credit for the whole thing.

How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
1- Logic dictates that changing a light bulb is a fairly simple procedure that should require but one individual to complete the task.

How many Bajorans does it take to change a light bulb?
10- 5 to chant the death chant for over two hours, 1 to unscrew the old bulb, 1 to screw in the new bulb, and 3 to keep the duranja lamp lit and say the prayer over it.

How many Cardassians does it take to change a light bulb?
4- 1 to unscrew the old bulb and listen to its secrets to fulfill the shri-tal ritual, 1 to guard the door to make sure no non-Cardassians view the remains, 1 to teach mind-control to the new bulb, and 1 to screw in the new bulb.

How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them- they're a collective.

How many Starfleet Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. An Engineer is smart enough to realize that light bulbs haven't been used for years.

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