Why I Would Be a Bad Teacher
  • I would only write on the board backwards. If the students complained, I would tell them to turn their desks around and get a mirror. Then, if they did, I would yell at them for sitting with their backs to me. If I used an overhead projector, I would flip the sheets so they would be backwards too, or maybe upside-down and tell the students to stand on their heads if they couldn't read it.
  • I would write things in Klingon.
  • I would spread lies and misinformation. If anyone complained, I would say that if the students had notes, they had copied it down wrong and so they couldn't prove anything.
  • On tests, I would have trick questions and questions with strange wording. If students didn't understand the questions, I wouldn't explain. I would tell them that if they don't understand the question, maybe they're in the wrong class.
  • On tests, I would put multiple-choice answers in an order. Or, I would tell the students that they were in an order, but then not put them in an order. I would make the answers spell the words.
  • After someone talked out of turn once, I would give them a detention.

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