It has become very clear to all of us that there is a certain group in our school that is different. They walk differently, talk differently, and even don't get many of our jokes. If they had their way, we would all be undisciplined, out-of-step morons, and that only 'music' echoing through the halls of our fair school would be off-key rap! You know of whom I speak, for these people are none other than non-Bandites.
If non-Bandites aren't in Band, they must be against discipline. And yet discipline is at the very core of all our armed services! Does that make them be against our military? Are they really unpatriotic? As fellow Bandites, you must agree with me when I say that we are the most patriotic group in the school. Do we not play our national anthem at concerts and football games? You have seen how everyone who is not in Band has no problem talking while we are playing it and otherwise disrespecting our country. Some even see fit to not stand during the anthem! As a respectful Bandite, I am truly ashamed to say that they go to the same school I do.
Have you ever been walking down the hall when you hear music blasting out of someone's headphones, and they're walking out of step with the beat? Or maybe you're in class and someone interrupts the teacher? It's obvious these people aren't in Band. Why do they feel they have the right to be so disrespectful and treat others like this? Could it be because they're not in Band?
Now, it's obvious how non-Bandites are unpatriotic. Unpatriotic people have the tendency to dislike patriotic people such as ourselves. In fact, that's a trait they have in common with terrorists! I'm not saying that non-Bandites are terrorists, but they do share many of the same qualities. It makes you think.
We all understand the importance of doing things like staying in time and playing together. Following certain guidelines like these lead to unity within the Band. It seems clear that everyone would be in Band were it not for some non-Band influences. After all, we all have some sort of musical ability. But non-Bandites have been convinced by lip-synchers like Britney Spears and so-called 'musicians' that hardly pretend to play their instrument that it's not necessary to do more than just look musical. If everyone was in Band, they would see how noble it is to play an instrument.
Have you ever noticed how non-Bandites have no sense of discipline or unity? How they don't even know a simple musical term like 'decrescendo?' Now is the time to act to stop the spread - perhaps even reverse it- of non-Banditism! You can do your part by convincing non-Bandites to join Band. Will you help us or will you march out of step?
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