Sayings for Living
  1. No.
  2. Yes. Yes it is.
  3. Cheese is good.
  4. There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's(R).
  5. Sheep. Hee hee, taco.
  6. Would you like a piece of tea?
  7. If this is a bucket of peaches, and this is a bucket of cream, where do I put my head?
  8. Don't forget the pizza.
  9. Candy corn.
  10. Cheesecake. Factory.
  11. Why is the gum broken?
  12. Chivalry is dead, unless it involves toasters.
  13. Don't drink my hot chocolate!
  14. Gum happens.
  15. No! Don't eat those! Those are poison arrows.
  16. If the schnozzberries taste like schnozzberries, keep licking the car. If they taste like flunnerzots, run away screaming. Oh, that's right, you won't be able to.
  17. Mmm, tastes like burning.
  18. Well, it's kinda like yogurt.
  19. These burgers are crazy.
  20. Parmesan cheese is not good for snorting. Neither is sugar or Pixie Stix. Put the Tang down...
  21. Ignore what Ryan says about S20.
  22. What's this heat thing I keep hearing about? Well, it's kinda like tuna.
  23. Please don't spill the Skittles.
  24. That's not my Diet Coke.
  25. There is jello on my sock.
  26. I have powers that pinto beans only dream of.
  27. I love Italian food, but the problem is that three or four days later, I'm hungry again.
  28. I'm going to make tacos out of your corpse!
  29. Come As You Are. Oh well, whatever, Nevermind...
  30. A P is just a female R.
  31. I have no idea what you're laughing at, but yet I find it funny.
  32. That's funny, but I'm not sure why.
  33. I don't need to compete. I just need to laugh.
  34. This is where laughing silently comes in handy.
  35. Giggle. Giggle. Snort.
  36. Yay!
  37. Did I tell you to talk?
  38. I have drain bamage.
  39. Whenever I see you, the phrase 'small doses' comes to mind.
  40. You're an idiot.
  41. Stupid reason! Stupid reason!
  42. That's just crazy enough to not make sense!
  43. You have to know these things when you're king, you know.
  44. You're not smart. Everyone else is just stupid.
  45. I'm not an idiot.
  46. Grow up? I want to go blow bubbles.
  47. I got lost in thought once, and I never found my way back.
  48. Sometimes I stop to think.... (*stare off into space*)
  49. Stop it you idiot!
  50. Someone once told me they were going to kill me to death. As opposed to...
  51. If I had wings, I would fly, but I would probably fall down.
  52. Knock yourself out. Please.
  53. That's my pen, and I have the right to take it back. It's in the Constitution.
  54. Wait. Did I do something illegal?
  55. Just because I did it does not mean I did it.
  56. Stop being nosy.
  57. See, this is the point where you just stop talking.
  58. Stop making it worse.
  59. This is the point where I shrug.
  60. You don't want to know.
  61. It just is.
  62. Except for the pain, I'm quite comfortable.
  63. That's okay. It's not mine.
  64. Pardon me while I choke.
  65. Okay, I'm gonna go pass out now.
  66. Run while you still can.
  67. Maybe it should.
  68. Isn't it great when your friends are friends with your other friends?
  69. Maybe I'll tell you someday.
  70. Well that would be telling, wouldn't it?
  72. How 'bout not.
  73. Haven't I told you you're not supposed to choke?
  74. It is as it is, and no turning back.
  75. See, I could tell you, or you could just look it up.
  76. I work in mysterious ways.
  77. Those are not my pants.
  78. That one! No, the other one!
  79. Fairies wear boots. Ya gotta believe me.
  80. Please, don't break the church.
  81. Whazzit?
  82. When do the flying monkeys come to take you away?
  83. Cause, you know, stuff.
  84. Oh yeah, that.
  85. It's like baling hay in a snowstorm with a left-handed teaspoon.
  86. That was dumb.
  87. Playing the Lord's Prayer backwards reveals hidden satanic messages.
  88. Every cloud has a silver lining. Sell it and buy a car.
  89. I am full of doom.
  90. Well, you're special now, aren't you?
  91. I give you satanic head bitey!
  92. Don't even try.
  93. Excuses, excuses.
  94. My mind! Where is my mind?
  95. Woah, man, that's deep.
  96. Dude, I've been enlightened.
  97. That's not cool, man.
  98. It is a good day to live.
  99. This will answer all the questions you've ever had about toilets.
  100. Glue.
  101. Moo, moo, moo, moo.
  102. I'm dancing like a monkey!
  103. Come back, greenhouse!
  104. Shut your noise, you!
  105. Too bad for you.
  106. Breathe in, breathe out.
  107. I am like sooooo dark...
  108. Cute, fuzzy, and full of death.
  109. You tell me.
  110. Duck before I hit you with this book.
  111. 1/2. Duck before I hit you.
  112. I don't make the rules... wait... yes I do.
  113. Jesus? That's kinda weird.
  114. Use the power of the squirrels wisely.
  115. Beware of the Killer Leaping Fried Chickens of Death!
  116. Why make sense when you don't have to?
  117. Is it just me, or is it just you?
  118. It's always easier to give advice then to take it.
  119. This is an ex-parrot! He has ceased to be!
  120. That's morbid.
  121. But I want to sing!
  122. That would be too easy.
  123. There's a whole lotta stabbin' in your future!
  124. And it was good.
  125. And then, I fell over.
  126. Maybe he died.
  127. Why are there so many squirrels in the world?
  128. Admit it, you're wrong.
  129. Pyromania: it's not a job; it's an adventure.
  130. Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive anyway.
  131. I'm not suffering from insanity. I'm enjoying every minute of it.
  132. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
  133. There's a fine line between persistence and being dragged away by the cops for stalking.
  134. Mess not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
  135. If you can keep your head while everyone around you is losing theirs, maybe you haven't grasped the situation.
  136. If we don't look incredibly stupid, we're not doing this right.
  137. Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. It will remain this way until further notice.
  138. It's all fun and games until a raging robot destroys half your city.
  139. Archers, too, have a better chance of survival if they go to battle dressed in more than just their undergarments.
  140. Internet like burning, man.
  141. Dude...
  142. There's a funny story behind that.
  143. I miss my lung.
  144. Cause why not?
  145. Ahh! Squealy children!
  146. It's generally a bad idea to kill your best friend.
  147. She'll never notice.
  148. Smells like children!
  149. ...except not.
  150. Can I stare at your pants?
  151. Dead puppies aren't much fun.
  152. Everybody run! The Homecoming Queen's got a gun!
  153. Would you like fries with that?
  154. How about NO you crazy Dutch bastard!
  155. Twice.
  156. With a butter knife.
  157. We come in peace. Shoot to kill.
  158. What are you dooming?
  159. Point and laugh.
  160. She's still alive, but only just.
  161. Great minds think alike... or at least we do.
  162. Sayings don't always work on people who don't know them.
  163. Roly-poly fish heads are never seen drinking cappuccino in Italian restaurants with oriental women. Yeah...
  164. Worldwide, death is still the #1 cause of fatality.
  165. I am an ordained minister of the church of Shut Up!
  166. Hey- you got weasels on your face.
  167. The world was our burrito.
  168. I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest, I would not sleep for an instant, until the one-nostriled man was brought to justice. But first, I decided to buy some donuts.
  169. This is the last burrito.
  170. Ask the man for some candy, Daddy.
  171. It's not very happy.
  172. Sharon, one more burrito.
  173. People who live in glass houses sink ships.
  174. How do you say 'I would like to commit a major felony in your country' in your language?
  175. Well it could have been a gay monkey.
  176. Get back in your box.
  177. I thought he wasn't wearing any shoes.
  178. I love the smell of napalm in the morning!
  179. Reality is what you make of it.
  180. Jill! Put some pants on!
  181. Scott! Put some pants on!
  182. Do I have to? Pants are dirty.
  183. Why me?
  184. You have three minutes to save France!
  185. Don't break my fantasy.
  186. Clean my dirty toga!
  187. You live in this house, you work for me, and I want to suck your toes.
  188. Woo and yay!
  189. Sometimes, it's profound. Sometimes, it's Fritos.
  190. It is enough for me that your pig is safe.
  191. Some people play tennis, I erode the human soul.
  192. Well maybe you'll have night after night of eternal hellfire all to yourself.
  193. Well, that would be littering, and the cop tailgating us might get slightly annoyed.
  194. All of our exports go to other countries. No, only some of them do. Some of them go to Canada.
  195. Please do not write on my purple sheets.
  196. That equals rudeness!
  197. We advocate stealing!
  198. That is definately a satchel.
  199. Remember the armadillo!
  200. All the cool kids have spoons.
  201. Burninating the peasants... TROGDOR!
  202. Will that be a movie or a myoo-vay?
  203. It's good to be pathetic.
  204. Drink your bleach!
  205. There's a difference between spooning someone and spooning with someone.
  206. I'll tell you if you're stupid!
  207. I didn't even register your prescence.
  208. It's not a Facing Hatred conference until someone laughs, someone cries, and Mrs. Adler panics.
  209. Control your dumb!
  210. If you like Dick, you'll love Dan.
  211. Those are some crazy trousers.
  212. You just violated my alligator.
  213. Chicken!
  214. Bush extender!
  215. Leave my bush alone!
  216. I'm from the Internet.
  217. But what if my diarrhea comes back?
  218. Ooh! She's got eyes that are evil!
  219. Where's my chair?
  220. Blossoms of death!
  221. Wait a minute. This sounds like rock and/or roll.
  222. You look too normal. Take off that shirt.
  223. I took the road less traveled by./Now I'm lost. Where am I?
  224. Janet! Dr. Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky!
  225. You're never alone when you have friends. Or multiple personalities.
  226. That's the study of a lifetime. It could take all day!
  227. Collar up... Michael style!
  228. Not from the head, not from the chest... from the soul.
  229. This is study hall, not fun and games.
  230. This is going to get to that? Yes, but with a lot of elbow grease.
  231. Humankind is a weird thing.
  232. All death is ironic.
  233. Don't be a piano. Sing!
  234. Running is to walking as singing is to talking.
  235. I want to slap the sandwich!
  236. Tour Eiffel on fire... frowny face!
  237. Replacement Phil!
  238. I'm haunted by "Sortie" sign.
  239. The table is a sexual object. It's like potato chips.
  240. We will have no fun today, since it's the first day. I think it's a law that schools must have no fun on the first day.
  241. That's a lot of moose...
  242. Everyone is singular; no one is plural.
  243. Ooble spoodle gwee
  244. I've only seen a couple people catch on fire.
  245. Das Finger!
  246. I'm not a Satanist! I'm... I'm... a... an... Eclectic Luciferian Diabolist!
  247. It's hard to be a garbageman when a sailor stole my glove.
  248. Who's got the crack?
  249. Death Emo: She left me... so I killed her and had sex with her corpse... oooh....
  250. Having no calories would be bad, because that would make you die.
  251. Arathusa was a nymph.
  252. Smock Refer!
  253. But that makes perfect unsense!
  254. That's a lovely kneecap.
  255. Agnostics: Is there a god? And if so, what color is he?
  256. Was it formosa?
  257. I've lost a kid!
  258. Don't mess with me! I know the Roman numeral for 500!
  259. I am the Sailor of Peace!
  260. Would you prefer I was led astray by small penguins?
  261. Two means two turtles.
  262. Sticky as a woodchuck!
  263. I'm as hungry as a poor child in a third world country!
  264. My feelings for you cause me to want to cast myself into the burning fires of the bottomless pit of despair.
  265. And weasels.
  266. Yay! We're ecouting!
  267. Oh, by the way, it's 10 points off if you hand it in on fire.
  268. Of the spooky people, who's long and who's short?
  269. For those of you who don't know, I have 7 pets. 2 dogs, 4 cats, and a husband.
  270. When you grow up to be a pumpkin, you can light candles too.
  271. I am the Queen of Useless Promises!
  272. Say "as best you can" as well as you can.
  273. Ahh! Evility!
  274. Yoda math: "Two... or twonot. There is no five!"
  275. I can't be mad. My hate is broken.
  276. All we've ever been is everything we're not.
  277. I can't be a Buddhist. It's too popular.
  278. Stand back, amigo! This is a job for the Antichrist!
  279. I'd give you a hug, but I smell icky, like death.
  280. Put the straw down! We're gonna get arrested!
  281. You have an inspirational big toe?
  282. It's cold today. I like your shoes!
  283. Moleratio, the great Shakeapearean hero from Avogadro's Caper.
  284. The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.
  285. Wisconsin: Smell our dairy air.
  286. I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  287. LIFE: it's just another cereal.
  288. There's nothing to make you feel tall like being around short people.
  289. I am the Fry Goddess! Oh beautiful French Fries, I shall devour you whole!
  290. The baby wants McDonald's. The baby wants lots of McDonald's.
  291. Hello, I'm Mr. Penguin, you do your thing and I'll do mine.
  292. Could you sort of, kind of, develop the desire to pass the salt....
  293. Tap into your inner psychopath!
  294. Poetry is an expression of life.
  295. Yeah? Well, I'm not the one choking on my soap!
  296. Diamond ring is like chocolate cake!
  297. I do what I do 'cause I have to!
  298. Pandora: I hope to have a cat someday.
  299. Love isn't lost. It's found.
  300. Use the old combustion trick- light youself on fire.
  301. I'm a linear thinker. My lines just aren't straight.
  302. California Genesis: the story of Adam and Steve.
  303. You chew like cows!
  304. You lose the loss of your legs.
  305. God is just an imaginary friend for grownups.
  306. I don't hate any of you... as far as you know.
  307. Persons of color sounds like something you see when you're on acid.
  308. Those are not the nipples of my wife!
  309. Have you ever embraced someone dying of plague?
  310. When I have gone, I expect you to consign the contents of this manuscript to the flames, and stir it vigorously... with a poker.
  311. To understand the inverse of a day would involve using drugs.
  312. Madame, nous traduisons en anglais?
  313. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" -George W. Bush
  314. Go put on some pants. We'll watch a movie.

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