The Rules of Fencing
Compiled by Bethany Kanfer.
But a lot of it was said by other people.
Mostly Mr. Cadorette.
  1. Parry!
  2. Riposte.
  3. Poke. Poke!
  4. Don't Angel Attack. It rarely works.
  5. Long in the back, short in the front... Yes, Matt, that is a mullet.
  6. If you Ryan Fence, it will confuse your opponent, but the ref may not like it.
  7. No sloppy parries!
  8. Hail Greenwald! Our fearless leader!
  9. I'm not your teacher, I'm your coach, so Shut Up!
  10. The Sarah Theory: Whatever Works.
  11. You may be okay with using sloppy parries, but your opponents won't, and then' they'll POKE YOU!
  12. Beware of the Demon Body Cord.
  13. Greet your opponent with cheerful doom.
  14. Smile as you beat your opponent.
  15. Losing only makes you better.
  16. Losing can teach you more than winning can.
  17. Your teammates are always there for you.
  18. Always call a time-out for someone- even if it's just to give them a break.
  19. If everyone sells two boxes of candy, we'll make $600! Yeah, if Ryan doesn't eat it all. (I'm not specifying if he'll eat the candy or the money.)
  20. Drills will help you later!
  21. In love as in fencing, in order to win, you have to risk getting hurt.
  22. The Fencing Team: the only people who can legally bring weapons into school.
  23. You're going after each other with weapons. You have to be polite.
  24. I'm going to move my arm up here, so could you please kill me?
  25. Look, I'm this big white marshmallow. Hit me!
  26. You need to work very hard to be average.
  27. They had doctors going up and sterilizing the tips of the foils so they wouldn't get bacteria when they killed each other.
  28. You can call me Coach if you can say it without laughing.
  29. Don't get off-balance.
  30. If you get sloppy, you lost. Well technically, you're dead.
  31. You may not care about getting good, but maybe your partner does.
  32. Give your partner a workout, because if you don't, their opponent will.
  33. There's a hole up there, and it's shaped like you.
  34. C'mon! You're just leaving scars!
  35. You're trying to kill your opponent, not give him points.
  36. No stripping on the strip!
  37. That's not a lunge. That's a lounge.
  38. That target's too high. Put it lower, right about heart level.
  39. It's about inspiring jealousy. That's what fencing's all about!
  40. There's no such thing as a free lunge.
  41. Tempus is fugiting!

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